Teabagger's Pledge

Came across this from my friend Sean in Oakland, Cali.  Funny as heck.

"The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge"
http://ow.ly/1sd9U

                                         Here's an excerpt:

 I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life.  I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following: 

● Social Security 

● Medicare/Medicaid 

● State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP) 

● Police, Fire, and Emergency Services 

● US Postal Service 

● Roads and Highways 

● Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA) 

● The US Railway System 

● Public Subways and Metro Systems 

● Public Bus and Lightrail Systems 

● Rest Areas on Highways 

● Sidewalks 

● All Government-Funded Local/State Projects  

● Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!) 

● Public and State Universities and Colleges 

● Public Primary and Secondary Schools 

● Sesame Street 

● Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children 

● Public Museums 
● Libraries 
● Public Parksand Beaches 
● State and National Parks 

● Public Zoos 

● Unemployment Insurance 

● Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services 

● Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or 

Federal Government (pretty much all of them) 

● Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government 

Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

● Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions) 

● Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the 

basis for subsequent computer networking 

● Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or 

That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies 

● Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs 

From Government Subsidies 

● If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and 

insist on paying for my own medical care 


I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C. 

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to: 

● Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History 

● The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments 

● The government-operated Statue of Liberty 

● The Grand Canyon 

● The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials 

● The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery 

● All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC .....


http://ow.ly/1sd9U

Spring Time

Paling around with NutJobs

* McCain/Palin AKA Main Pain are back together once again.  Oh Hell No.
Grandpa John and Grandma Sarah both looking genuinely forced and fake at some event in Arizona today.

* "Mom!  Grandma Sarah's palin' around with nutjobs again!".
"You're fired!", says the quitter to the winners and doers of something useful for the country.  Oh, the irony of irony. By the way, that hopey changey thing is working out great.

* All these complaints and whines about the government taking over and federal-controlled healthcare blah socialist blah blah the end of America blah blah blah coming from these defiant undignified politicians in DC.  Guess who you work for?  That's right, the government.  So, you ARE the problem you're talking about. If you want to help with a solution, please just quit and go work somewhere else.  There, problem solved.

*I got one word for the troubles with the economy, health care and education budgets: IRAQ

New Goal

*  If it's not fun, then make it so.

"There are really do-able goals in yoga and in life. Practice balance, stay relaxed within each challenging moment, or Andrea's favorite, if it's not fun- change it."

Cry me a river

* My streak of consecutive days of running at least a mile a day has broken. At day 81.  Courtesy of some stomach virus, flu-like symptoms.  Felt nauseous and out of it yesterday, even had to sit down at work and I never had to do that.  After some homeopathic medicine AKA oscillococcinum (o-sill-o-cox-see-num),Imodium and a ton of Gatorade and Vitamin water, I'm back and feeling all right again after a one day break.

So even though my wife thought I was crazy I went out and ran 3 miles today in 73 degrees weather. 

New Rules

(Transcript from Bill Maher's last HBO show)

New Rule: Let's not fire the teachers when students don't learn - let's fire the parents. Last week President Obama defended the firing of every single teacher in a struggling high school in a poor Rhode Island neighborhood. And the kids were outraged. They said, "Why blame our teachers?" and "Who's President Obama?" I think it was Whitney Houston who said, "I believe that children are our future - teach them well and let them lead the way." And that's the last sound piece of educational advice this country has gotten - from a crack head in the '80s.

Yes, America has found its new boogeyman to blame for our crumbling educational system. It's just too easy to blame the teachers, what with their cushy teachers' lounges, their fat-cat salaries, and their absolute authority in deciding who gets a hall pass. We all remember high school - canning the entire faculty is a nationwide revenge fantasy. Take that, Mrs. Crabtree! And guess what? We're chewing gum and no, we didn't bring enough for everybody.

But isn't it convenient that once again it turns out that the problem isn't us, and the fix is something that doesn't require us to change our behavior or spend any money. It's so simple: Fire the bad teachers, hire good ones from some undisclosed location, and hey, while we're at it let's cut taxes more. It's the kind of comprehensive educational solution that could only come from a completely ignorant people.

Firing all the teachers may feel good - we're Americans, kicking people when they're down is what we do - but it's not really their fault. Now, undeniably, there are some bad teachers out there. They don't know the material, they don't make things interesting, they have sex with the same kid every day instead of spreading the love around... But every school has crappy teachers. Yale has crappy teachers - they must, they gave us George Bush.

According to all the studies, it doesn't matter what teachers do. Although everyone appreciates foreplay. What matters is what parents do. The number one predictor of a child's academic success is parental involvement. It doesn't even matter if your kid goes to private or public school. So save the twenty grand a year and treat yourself to a nice vacation away from the little bastards.

It's also been proven that just having books in the house makes a huge difference in a child's development. If your home is adorned with nothing but Hummel dolls, DVDs, and bleeding Jesuses, congratulations, you've just given your children the gift of Duh. Sarah Palin said recently she wrote on her hand because her father used to do it. I rest my case.

When there are no books in the house, and there are no parents in the house, you know who raises the kids? That's right, the television. Kids aren't keeping up with their studies; they're keeping up with the Kardashians. We're allowing the television, as babysitter, to turn us into a nation of slutty idiots. By the way, one sign your 9-year-old may be watching too much One Tree Hill: if she has an imaginary friend with benefits.

80 days down, 285 more to go.

*  Today marks the 80th day in a row that I've been running since January 1st of this year. Two easy miles today wearing my new Brooks T6 racing flats. Wow, they are light and fast, only 6 ounces each, feels like spikes.  I'm breaking them in for my next 5K race which will be the Jonquil City Jog next month. I will be ready for it this time.
Being a member of the Atlanta Track Club, I already registered for the Peachtree Road Race 10K over two weeks ago.  The annual PRR is held on July 4th, the world's largest 10K race with over 55,000 runners held here in Atlanta.  This will be my 3rd time running it (previously 2001 and 2009). My new goal is to have fun and run at around 50 minutes/ 8 minute mile pace and not just merely finish it like the last two times that I ran, both of which took over an hour.

*  My NCAA March Madness bracket is officially busted!  I picked 5 of the Sweet 16 teams.  Five!!! I got one team left going to the Final Four: West Virginia.  Oh, man, might as well pick Northern Iowa and St. Mary's  to be in the finals with the scores 59-55 in favor of Northern Iowa.  This has been one wild and crazy tournament.

*  Finally, the nightmare is over. This victory tonight is for you Ted Kennedy.  Show 'em how it's done. America has voted, and Republicans...you are FIRED!  Remember to vote the rest of them out this coming November.  No more of the party of NO. No more obstructionists.
So, when is Rush Limbaugh moving?  Didn't he publicly declared that he would move to some Central America country if the Health Care Reform bill passed?  Yes, it's a done deal.  Tonight.
Here is the Limbaugh quote: "I don't know. I'll just tell you this, if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented, I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica."


I'm Gonna Run (500 miles) this year

It's not on the test.

Don't think about thinking, it's not on the test. (Tom Chapin)
http://notonthetest.com

The Ides of March

          "To thine own self be true"
From "Hamlet": The fool Polonius' advice to his son, Laertes.
Basically it means "Be Yourself".

* "If one loves, one need not have an ideology of love." Bruce Lee

*  Day # 74, 2 miles, 20 minutes, 54 degree windy.

Silver Comet 10K in Mableton

Unofficial finish time: 53:16             Official Chip Time: 52:32 (PR)
I was aiming for a sub-55 minute.  Fun 6.2 miles on my favorite running trail-The Silver Comet trail, I run on it almost every day.  Yes the streak is still intact, running every day since January 1st, so it's the 72nd consecutive days today. My new goal is to break 50 minute at the Peachtree Road Race 10K in July.

*  One of the reasons I don't live in Texas any more.  The Lone Star state.

* 10 Weeks until Summer.  The Countdown begins!

No More Mister Nice Guy

Atlanta Track Club

• I'm in training for the 300 meter low hurdles, long jump, and possibly the 100 meter dash for this summer's Atlanta Track Club All-Comers open meets at Emory University (May 4-June 15).  Why?  Because I can.  Those were my events when I first learned and ran track in Puerto Rico then Iowa City and then high school in San Diego. I also did the 4x100 relay and triple jump.  Early 80's. Some 30 years ago. Must be a mid-life crisis thing, some people buy sports cars, indulge in expensive things or get cosmetic surgery, I just run and play sports whenever I can.
• Check out lamebook.com, the funniest and lamest of facebook.  Hey, we all need a laugh every day.
• I miss winter and 20 degrees weather already.  It was 70 today.  Still running, this was day 68 in a row of at least one mile.  Life, it goes on. 

Super Saturday

• On a scale of 1 to 10, today was a 20.
• Ran 7 miles today on the Silver Comet trail, one hour and 5 minutes in 52 sunny degrees.  There was some leftover snow on one of the bridge/overpass at the East West Connector.
• What is going on in the state of New York? Politicians are dropping like flies.
• When am I going to actually write a complete paragraph?
• Jam!
• "Now you young twerps want a new name for your generation?  Probably not, you just want jobs, right?  Well, the media do us all such tremendous favors when they call you Generation X, right?  Two clicks from the very end of the alphabet.  I hereby declare you Generation A, as much at the beginning of a series of astonishing triumphs and failures as Adam and Eve were so long ago."  Kurt Vonnegut, Syracuse University commencement address, May 8, 1994 and from the back cover of  Douglas Coupland's new book Generation A.

Thoughtful Thursday

* Some people do not know when to stop. Enough IS enough. Think of a workday as a full glass of water, the more stuff you pour in the cup will just spill out onto the floor and go to waste. You mean well but really, it's not helping anyone. Inefficient use of time, energy and resources. Sometimes less is more. KISS= Keep It Simple Simon (stupid).

* Knuckleheaded jack-a-ninnies nincompoop 5th graders.

* Stop means do nothing, stay still, or freeze! We all need to learn how to do that simple direction.  Sometimes I feel like it's OPPOSITE day in the classroom, kids do the exact opposite of what you tell them to do.  Get to work!  Nothing.  OK, stop and clean up. Nobody knows how to listen any more.

*  Day 63 of running. Only 1.5 miles today at Tollison Park. 50 degrees sunny weather.

Spring Wonderland

Thank you Mother Nature for this most excellent Winter 2010!

Singin' in the Snow

* That's what I was doing today during my 4 mile run/walk in the snow. Yes, it snowed in March, in Georgia. This is the fifth time that I've ran in the snow this year. It SNOWED for the third time this year, yes it snowed every month this year! Nobody was out at the Silver comet trail when I started at 3 o'clock, but about 30 minutes later people started showing up, walking their dogs, jogging, with umbrellas.
Day 61, 4 miles, 45 minutes, in 34 degrees weather, rain/snow/slush/wet socks.

* Characters I saw at school today:
Sojourner Truth, Captain Underpants, Mahalia Mouse or was it Stuart Little, Belle, Cinderella, Snow White, Thing 1, Thing 2, Cat in the Hat, Fancy Nancy, pirates, Pecos Bill, Pippi Longstocking AKA Wendy, Ms. Wishy Washy, Dracula (AKA our principal) or was it Stella Luna, Olivia the pig, and some other assorted unidentified costumes from the kids' Halloween collections. Today was Dr. Seuss' birthday and a Reading Across America day celebration. Hey I should have been Harold and the purple crayon.

* Dr. Seuss Rap from www.halfdaytoday.com