Teabagger's Pledge

Came across this from my friend Sean in Oakland, Cali.  Funny as heck.

"The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge"
http://ow.ly/1sd9U

                                         Here's an excerpt:

 I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life.  I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following: 

● Social Security 

● Medicare/Medicaid 

● State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP) 

● Police, Fire, and Emergency Services 

● US Postal Service 

● Roads and Highways 

● Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA) 

● The US Railway System 

● Public Subways and Metro Systems 

● Public Bus and Lightrail Systems 

● Rest Areas on Highways 

● Sidewalks 

● All Government-Funded Local/State Projects  

● Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!) 

● Public and State Universities and Colleges 

● Public Primary and Secondary Schools 

● Sesame Street 

● Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children 

● Public Museums 
● Libraries 
● Public Parksand Beaches 
● State and National Parks 

● Public Zoos 

● Unemployment Insurance 

● Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services 

● Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or 

Federal Government (pretty much all of them) 

● Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government 

Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

● Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions) 

● Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the 

basis for subsequent computer networking 

● Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or 

That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies 

● Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs 

From Government Subsidies 

● If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and 

insist on paying for my own medical care 


I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C. 

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to: 

● Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History 

● The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments 

● The government-operated Statue of Liberty 

● The Grand Canyon 

● The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials 

● The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery 

● All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC .....


http://ow.ly/1sd9U